Where are you in the process?

In an attempt to do 'the right thing' I decided to do what most young girls, raised southern baptist, about to be divorced from their husband would do....go to church! I mean, God has all the answers right? And besides, I thought the Bible was against divorce, so was there some sort of loop hole in which I could divorce my husband and it not be that bad of a sin? 

I perused the church website and found a group that was 'a ministry for the single-again of all ages who are separated or divorced and who are at any level of recovery'. Sounded awesome. I was there on Sunday...9 am sharp.

I was greeted with a big bear hug by one of the leaders. There were two leaders, a husband and wife team that had been in the class themselves over ten years ago, when they were each going through their divorces. Then everyone began to trickle in. 'Everyone'....sounds so simply said compared to the motley crew that I was about to experience. 

Seating was arranged in a semi-circle around the room, I assume to promote conversation, although with this bunch, no such promotion was needed. As I began to meet people, I quickly learned that the opening liner was 'Where are you in the process?'. What a reality check. So just in case you forgot you are at a divorce/separated recovery group, we'll remind you by asking you what's up with your situation because you clearly wouldn't be here if you weren't in a situation. Yes, for those of you who haven't experienced it, separation, divorce, reconciliation, it is all a process. From finding an attorney, to drafting papers, to deciding on custody, to going back and forth with the ex....it can be such a long process indeed. 

The group was comprised of all sorts of 'situations'. From being separated to the basement (we'll get to him later), to being divorced over 4 years (4 years and you're still not fixed!)....this group accepts them all, which is probably the best thing about the group--acceptance. No judgment, no chastising, just come as you are and you will be loved. Can't say that I've been to many places like that. Even in the church service, amongst such holy looking people, you can feel judged. This was a very special place and I was fortunate to find it.

So...where am I in the process? Just separated, nothing filed...yet.

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